When it's time to say goodbye.,

When he tells you that she wants to break up with you, thank her. Not a sarcasm, not an euphemism. Two people, any two people fall in love with a wish that they end up to together. They talk, go out, they talk about love, they talk about their future, they talk about each other in each other’s future and they fall for each other throughout. When you have a dream that you want to see it happening for real, you start from the scratch. You work for it, you breathe it in, you make a plan, and you work hard, harder. You go through lows and highs and eventually start living the dream. The day you get there, the high that grasps every inch of your nerves, the pride that hits your heart beat every second, the content that puts you back to sleep and wakes you up every morning with spirits, will make you feel gifted. You will know for sure that you deserved every bit of it, and you will know that no one can ever take that away from you. You always start low and get to the high point where you feel all these.

It is not the same in love. You feel all that day one. The butterflies, the unlimited texts, the cursory glimpses, the long walks, happy tears, kisses, lots of kisses, and more. It makes you wonder how did you ever deserve her, or how did you ever lived without him and that’s when you feel insecure. It starts like a dream you wouldn’t want to wake up from. You always start high in a relationship. It gets to you when you are not ready for one. You both had different dreams to get to, or you didn’t until you met each other and they become your dream. Either ways, you know that he is someone you need to treasure for life and you will start working for it, every day. Falling in love is easy, not hitting the ground and dodging every surface that stops you from falling is hard. The desire to be with each other is the soul that keeps each other going.

It’s a cycle, with the two wheels. Both have to make their rounds. One hits a bump, the next one has to take one too, one slows down, and the other must drag and get them going. That’s how it works.  The day you stop the will that makes your life go around hers, you tell him. It happens for a reason; sometimes there might not be one. It happened to you with no efforts, you worked hard to get her, but you felt that for him with no efforts. Anything you got effortless isn’t necessary to be bound to stay with you for long.  She lost it, or he never knew he had to move away or she didn’t know it’s going to be this hard, or he didn’t know he would find something more beautiful. When he ask you for a breakup, you don’t let them go easy You try to roll them with you, and you hope you get the momentum back. But you cannot do that for long, you let them go.

They respected you enough to let you know that’s it’s over, instead of letting you do all the pull for a good long time and you eventually lose every last bit of your self-respect, dignity, and the love you had for them. He might be selfish, she might be so into herself, but you always remember you were his selfless choice or you were all she needed in her and you are not anymore. You will be hurt, you will be angry, you will do anything that gets you through the drenching pain, but with time, everything shall pass. You will get to a place where you finally feel thankful for her. For all the happy places you have been with him, and how all the places became happy when you were with her. You will be thankful for the memories she wrote in your history, and the days he got you through with smiles. Everything can’t end the way you want it to be. Where there is shades, there is shine somewhere around, you just need to move on. It’s okay to not be in love again, no one would watch you ride a bicycle, the mono wheel, that’s an eye turner.

A flavor for the sight.

     The dark chocolate charmed my eyes; my finger pointed at it before my senses could realise. A handful was stocked on to a cup. My sight moved on to make a little dressing to it and chocolate seasoning can only be the best aseent for a chocolate treat. Rainbows, chocolate chips and the chocolate sticks were the ones that met its caliber. After the little travel through the ice age, i witnessed her eye's disillusion. I managed to untangle the words, "Why is there chocolate everywhere on the cup?", i smiled at her and  replied in reserve, its not just on the cup.

its all around you...

“I don’t wanna see your face” were the last words that came out of the mounting frustration. Her eyes looked blurred, I checked mine, and it was her tears causing the distress. I stormed away, wondering why it didn’t happen the better away. I looked at myself in the rear; the sun shined beside and mine didn’t. The extra grown hair restrained the light beneath. I took a stop at the saloon. It was brimming with the weekend crowd. An elderly person was leaving the place as I settled on a seat in the waiting room. He pulled the door with all his might and appeared before the mixed pile of slippers. Since the age and the numbers failed his sense of matching, he stood there for a moment, puzzled. I continued observing him. His best solution was to wear the same side of different pairs.

The limping movement took him minutes to disappear from the door’s frame, and I felt guilty. Minutes passed and a lady appeared searching the ground; an old lady. The old man emerged from behind, still drooping. The doors resisted the voice, but the light revealed. She had come to find his match, and she was the match.

 I opened the text page, sent her a “hey”.

this,that and her...

You are always given a choice, and I made one. She happened. The sun woke up, she did, and that’s everything I need. Mom prepares, I eat, she ensures, and that fills up the meal. The walk, the wait at the stop, a quick meet with her, begins the day. A travel nap, the recursive dream, and ‘her presence’ that replace “the dream “, carries the day. The ease back seat, air cooled ambience, her two line text, sets me up on the lane. The way back home, the walk against the path, and the day’s summary with her defines the purpose for the same. The pressed sheet, the soothing head rest, her last wish, makes the day granted.

When high hopes end in vain,before the first tear takes birth, her touch on my palm, drains the moment away. When I take a step ahead, the praise loading my head, her words for me, brings back the “me”. Miles apart from home, the audible sound of the wavering trees, the pleasant atmosphere around, misses the part in me. Faced a thousand moments, felt out of the place in hundreds, and when I held her hands, she pulled everything close. A smile from her, the words she conceives, and the lasting second make my life live. Things happen for a reason, at times not for one, but whatever it comes under, with her, everything feels head over the heels.  

Scene 476 : Long wait and the Park meet...

Time 4:00 Pm
It would have been a little more than calm and a lot lesser than a crowd. It was the time and place where young minds find time to swing around, slide down and probably experience their first “fall” in life. They decided to meet at the road along the park; first time after the return of the girl from her tour. A moment past four, she was there and he was not. This is when she knows he would have slept off. He has invited a well-organized argument once he wakes up. She carried on to her evening class.

Time 5:00 Pm
The park started to crowd, the sun went down and the light across the sky started fading out.

Time 6:00 Pm
She raced the time. He came from behind at a normal deceleration and he stopped close to her. The moment lost the grip before the smile on both their faces bloomed. The eyes conveyed that this is where they belonged; this is where their sights rest.

“What”, the girl asked with a smile. She knew that it was not a question; she knew the meaning behind his smile. The guy replied, “Nothing”. Quite obviously, they wanted to listen to each other’s voice.

For few moments they had their private conversation that includes loads and loads of smiles until the guy said. “Guess you had good food during your trip”.  This is where the guy’s so called innocent care goes nowhere. “hhaaaaaaaaaaa” of course a girl never expects such a statement from his guy, or rather it is in the rules that never a guy shall comment on a girl’s perimeter.
He tried nullifying the statement but it was too late to say “no no, I didn’t mean that”.
And that went for a while.

“I asked you to come out of your class” he said.

“I can’t walk out whenever I can”, she replied without a time to think she added “and you slept, and that made this meet less important for you”.
With all the confidence he said “I took off from work for this, and you can’t bunk a class”.
“am gonna slipper you for taking off, did I ask you to?”
Replies like this make the guy go dumb. He thought he had the upper hand, now he doesn’t know where he lost it. One thing led to another, and she was in tears.

“Now don’t cry” here is the deal. To say this, the guy has to look for three things, the tone he use, the modulation, the attenuation. Everything means the same, but everything works distinctly, where he
failed in all three. He just imitated.

She took off, and he stood there alone, wondering. After sometime he texted here “ am waiting here hoping you would come back”. She did come back, but to say “start home”.

The magic between a couple lies behind the usage of non-apt words to console each other. He started pouring words hoping to replace the tears in her eyes and within moments her smile was back.

She started telling stories about her trips, where she went, where she was, things she did, the new ideas she got about the people she knew before. Whatever she said meant nothing to her, and still she did tell him, cause the time she spent there is the time she never wanted to miss with him and all she could is to let him know what she did with the time apart from him.

Finally they decided to leave. The meet had to end. Something they never wanted. They knew it is gonna begin again, and they knew they are gonna be there again, but the park had to wait. The park has a long wait until they meet again.

the "soul" speaks...

Do I really exist? People usually point at their heart to point me, but technically all it does is pumping blood. Definitely I am meant to do or my existence means more than that. My birth lies at the edge of the shine’s rise and at the shade’s fall and the vice versa. To break it down, I was born with her. She gave me the identity or rather a living form. She saw me, spoke to me, listened to me, and did everything to bring me alive. The beholder of mine believes in God, God stays in me, and she created me, so what is the deal, she is not the God, she is the desire I asked God. Confusing is it? I am a complex form.

The dreams were my reality, rather I chose it be. I had the chance to live the world my way, and she came, she brought the reality from my dream, she laid the way to my world ahead of me. As days passed she added memories, gave a mass and the cleansing solution coating fragrance to me, finally here I am, looking at you through words you already know. I am never cold. Ever hot. The presence of warmth throughout me is because she was all over me.

“ <3 “I admire the symbol. Lesser than “3”! True! It takes “2” people to create one and she created mine. She is the everlasting song in me, she is my infinite depth, she is the soul in me. I don’t have an eye to see, ear to listen, mouth to speak, like wise I have my own purpose, or I don’t have a purpose, I am the purpose, she is my sight, she is my sound and she is my word.

 Sixth sense, I never compete with that guy, he works with an ideal logic with two extremes, well I don’t work with logics, I differ from the ideal, the space she takes goes beyond the extremes, I would prefer being not ideal and that’s the ideal condition. “All is fair in love and war” not fair to compare, war ends, and love doesn’t, she inscribed in me.

Who is she? What is the deal with that “she”? I have almost mentioned 20 times and never disclosed it. That makes the difference between you and me, where I can keep on listing “she” is the reason where you will never know who she is. She is someone whom I found and there is someone out there for you, when you find, you will know the number of times you look out for “her”(him :D) in a moment.

the "seconds" speaks...

“Prologue.

This is when I wonder how even a short moment with her could have such an impact on me….”

And we took a stand at an empty parking space. She rested on her two-wheeler and I rested in front of her. The darkness pooled all around us; the shades from the street light added effects to her features; the silence around amplified the sound of her hums, and above all her eyes were fixed on me. My eyes met the boundaries of her hair; the thoughts filled the shelves of her expectations, and the reflex of comfort sustained throughout. I left the hands in my pocket, still consciously being gripped by her presence. I fixed my feet on the ground, but I could barely feel the downward pull as she kept me off my feet.

I finished the last word of a conversation that started from nowhere, it was her turn. And then, she raised her lips, the moment could not have got better, her eyes opened wide, the moment got brighter from better, she tilted her head at an undefined angle, shifting the moment from the brightness to the clear path, and a strand of hair floated on mid-air, taking away the moment along with it to nowhere again.

An innocent sound conceived from her, she calls it as a response, which never makes sense to me, but managed to convince me all the more. I realized it not about the reply she gives, it is about the pitch she chooses to converse in, the trajectory of her hand that arrests my eyes, the right proportion of emotions she mixes and the fact that, whatever she says is going to make sense.

We knew we were alone, we knew we had no one watching out for us, we knew the world is below us, and we knew we had nothing to worry about as long as we are “we”. I saw my shadow falling apart, I took a leap to notice that it fell beside hers; this is where I am privileged to say “even my shadow has fallen for you”.

I looked above, I looked around, I looked at her, I looked above, I looked around, I looked at her, no matter wherever I looked, I know the girl is looking at me, and I know “I have seen you like you haven’t seen yourself”.

"Epilogue

Seconds passes by, no count on how many, cause I am sure the time never repeats itself, but the moments with her does. “