the "distance" speaks...

I woke up, took a wrong turn, somehow managed to accomplish my morning routines and took a peek out of the window. The picture has changed. My thoughts tried climbing the fence, wandered around looking for its match, But all in vain. As a few moments passed, it started to sink into me that she wasn’t within my reach. I still can’t remember the instance I decided to take step to be apart, or that is where my quota of ‘losing my mind’ fills in. Packing clothes has never been a problem; a random pick by my hands, not my mind! And this is where an engineer’s brain malfunctions. Taking into the considerations the flair for compact machines, there couldn’t be a compact back pack to take his girl with him! The mass, weight and the presence of air couldn’t be compressed.  

I sent a “Bye!” and she redirected it to me. We both know the bye is for the home and not for us. The driver ignited the engine, drrrrrrrmmmmmm, the bus started vibrating, not cause of the engine, but cause of my heart beat. It pounded faster than normal trying to fast forward the whole trip. But, failed. I sent “Leaving! “And by now you must know for what the message was… (the “leaving” was for Chennai and not for us”). The bus left the city. The points took its steps down, the punch line” wherever you go, our network follows” vanished in thin air, or maybe it follows “you” and not the bus. I moved the phone to all possible perimeter, circumference, diameter and area, not knowing the concept that the mobile towers never had the mobility. At last, the time convinced me to sleep. I woke up under the same sun, under the same sky, on the same state, everything was the same, but the fact remained, she wasn’t at my reach, and thus the sun, sky, state felt new, felt lost.

The word “miss” felt obsolete.  I was able to tell her I missed her, I missed her presence, but nothing actually conveyed what was actually missing. The right words would have been.. I am “nothing” without you. I always wanted to be a super hero as a kid, to save the earth. But this time, I wished I was a super hero, not to save earth, to fly towards her, yeah, a super hero to  save himself.

The day(s) went blank and the return ticket seemed to add a lot colours to the blankness. I boarded the train, tadak….tadak….. not the heartbeat, it’s the train, starting to vibrate in every possible slow beats, starting the countdown to increase the distance by time, where I wished the factor could be unity. Well, one has to abide by the laws of “ time” and “distance” to reach what he deserves, I am done with those to reach Chennai, but not with her.